“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”’ Matthew 16:24-25

What does full surrender mean? What does it look like to lose one’s life to Jesus? These are questions I never understood or had answers to, although it’s something I’ve always heard we are supposed to do. Giving up our own lives to allow God to live through us with no expectation other then to praise Him is so counter cultural. So against what we know and what we are taught. We are taught to persevere, to trust ourselves, to dig deep for our own strength because no one else can do it for us.

And being a life coach, a trainer, an “empowerment specialist”, I taught people for years to rely on themselves, and find their own strength and motivations.

After the past 2 months, the only thing I can seem to understand is that I can’t understand the incredible power, love, provision and guidance of our King. I can say that because I finally just let go of control; I’m not holding the reigns anymore…. I’m just in the buggy behind the horses enjoying the ride. What’s happened in these few short months, especially just these past 3 weeks alone is way beyond my understanding or ability, and it truly is only because I’m allowing my life to be empowered by Christ.

As with most of the world, I was a firm believer in the phrase “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”. I used that as a motivation to push harder, work harder, and fight my way through the muck to find my own way. I now understand that He DOES give us more than we can handle…. on our own… so that we have no choice but to reach out to Him, and relinquish control and let Him take care of it. Allow Him to fulfill the promises He has given us that we all take for granted.

I simply can’t do all of the things He has called me to do without Him leading the way, so I just keep moving forward in faith, moving my feet and taking action as He opens door after door, one at a time.

I now understand surrender, and why it is so important. This is His life, His world, His money, His ministry, His everything- I am simply a willing vessel for Him to work through.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

We are not able to walk by faith if we don’t fully surrender to God. It is much easier said than done, but it is truth. We can’t live a faith filled life if we keep Jesus in this convenient little box we’ve kept Him in our whole lives.

Walking by faith requires ultimate trust and obedience; and in that obedience God will give you a freedom within His glory and grace that you’ve never imagined.

I have truly pursued a deeper connection to Jesus the last 3 weeks. Moreso then ever, because it is needed. If my foundation for ministry and helping others heal by showing them Jesus is rooted in anything else, it isn’t what I am called to do. And it isn’t sustainable. And it isn’t what the world needs.

He deserves every inch of my body, mind and spirit.

So, after much prayer and surrender, 2 weeks ago God provided me a way to go to Kisumu, Kenya in October to meet the pastors and congregation of the churches my father oversees.

Gia and I have been praying for a home; our lease is up this summer and we are tired of paying rent. The divorce, a bankruptcy and years of money mismanagement had me very weary of applying for a mortgage. But we felt led to pursue it, and the timing is right with our lease ending. Within a week of applying, not only did we get a preapproval, but we found a house with everything and MORE than what we were praying for. It was the first and only home we walked through. And our mortgage with taxes and insurance will be about $200 less then our rent.

And honestly, my absolute favorite part of all of this is just the tears and humility in the surrender. After we got the call about our offer being accepted for this home, Gia and I literally got on our knees and prayed, and I was so overwhelmed, and am again as I type this. When we let go of ourselves, He provides the way to give us everything we need.

He is so good.

He is doing so much more then leading me into ministry; He is cultivating my heart and entire being in ways that I can’t even describe.

Praise and glory to the King!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

I feel this verse all the way to my soul; I’ve heard it all my life but I KNOW it now. For too many years I tried to straighten my own paths; and all it did was take me farther away from where Jesus has called me to go.

I feel like a walked miles away from God over the past 20 years; all praise and glory to Him that despite the distanced I created, it only took ONE STEP to come back to Him.

Thank you Jesus for your precious grace.

#grace #surrender #forgiveness #blessings

#beMORE #doMORE #inHIM